You don’t realize how alone you are until you’re staying up every night thinking about things you should never think of and you cant tell anybody because you have nobody to tell.
7/1/14 (via phyxiated)
If it was meant to last, it would have.
Red (Orange Is The New Black)
1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.
2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.
3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.
4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.
5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.
Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via aumoe)
You drink like you have to forget something.
The saddest shit ever said. (via dvadeset-sedmi-august)
I remember when you told me I was innocent.
You see to you there was a difference of definition:
Innocence was whether or not you had smoked a joint or had your first beer or bloodied your knuckles on a brick wall.
But for me innocence was when I still loved myself. It was being able to look in the mirror and not hate your reflection. It was being able to go through a day without thoughts of wanting to die. It was days without depression or anxiety attacks.
For you innocence was physical but for me it was mental.
Because all I know is at 11 I was already making meals out of pain killers and diet coke.
By 12 I had become a statistic. I was that 1 in 50 you hear about in pamphlets and health classes. That’s a lonely number.
At 13 little lines started showing up. I don’t know why I started don’t ask me. I didn’t think they were beautiful. I never will. I don’t know why they had to yell at me about it. I didn’t make a mess. At least I wasn’t throwing up my food while my family was there for Thanksgiving. Now I’m 1 in 5.
They were just a little red.
I hate the color red now.
By 14 I met someone who was worse then me. She had lost down to 80 in a month and a half. And while I should have been thanking God I didn’t go that far, I was thinking to my self why I wasn’t good enough to have a BMI lower than 16.5.
15. Who is God and why don’t I hear from him anymore? I think he’s given up on me. He’s let everyone else leave. It would only make since if he did too. Maybe it’s because I have too many demons to fight. If that’s the case then I’m sorry. I love you but…
Maybe it’s for the best.
Statistics (via w0ndering-not-lost)